Epekto ng pagkajologs at walang tulog.

I have to admit, when I saw the trailers in ABS, I knew it would be such a craze, a big hit, and a good one. It started late nights, then when I was about to watch, was moved before 6PM. Cruel, right? Very much indeed. I tried my best to get hold of a DVD copy of the Korean version with subtitles in English, ALAS, I did. Thanks to my ever loving bestfriend. We did find a very good copy. I was so eager to watch, because I have missed a lot. And, after watching for 1 and a half days. Literally, from 11:30PM of Saturday, July 11, to July 13, 2009 at 5:30AM, with only 4 hour sleep. The break I had was peeing and bath. Rather than that, nothing. I ditched all my plans for Sunday. I just wanted to cut myself some slack and just do nothing. I wanted to separate myself, even for at least just this weekend. For me to rethink, reorganize, and reflect on everything.

Apologies to my dearest God, because I didn't attend mass and missed the practice for Lord's day. I can't help it, the Boys Over Flowers fever was killing me, and I wanted to do something I am not used to. Cut myself some slack, rest and just do nothing. You read that right. I watched Boys over Flowers over the weekend. But not just that. Saturday afternoon till around 10:30PM, I was just with my bestfriend. Talking about life, friendship, school, work, love, and almost anything under the sun. I needed that. I needed to affirm myself of the path I am taking every single day. I needed affirmation that I am on the right track. And it never fails. Thanks to my family, the ever supportive friends of mine, work and most of all God, I am still on the right one.

That afternoon last Saturday, I knew that day will be somehow important, and I was right. Little did I know I will go to the gym, but I chose to spend my whole day with my bestfriend. I knew I had something once again, and I needed that. She knows the pain and everything I am going through right now. She knows every tear I have shed for the past 8-9 years If I am not mistaken. She knew every reason for my behavior and actions, even until now. I'm glad I have her by my side, especially lately. Life has been tough for me, and for my family. I have been through hell and beyond over the past few 7-8 months. My break-up, one of my exes who tried to rape me tried to ruin our new business, together with our other tauhans, one of my exes/bestfriends left for SG, fights with my mom, work related problems, issues with a few exes/friends, and me getting heartbrokened with some guy who apparently wasn't worth it. Sunod sunod, I must say. Pero I realized, I haven't really shared a lot. How Kat and I broke up, why I am bothered because of her lately, how Lemar screwed everything up, how I am looking for a new job, like how one of my exes broke my heart once again, and so on and so forth. Alam lang ng lahat, I'm depressed because of this guy who hurt me. Pero yun. I have been through so much I just wanted a break from my normal life.

Watching BOF made me realize things. About life, friendships, relationships, family, and about a lot more things. On how our destiny is made, and we choose our path to the destiny. On how God affects us. How our families are always first and foremost important. On how our friends mean to us, will stick by us, and how to know who is true and not. How pain, heartache and suffering is worth it. How we can have our own happily ever afters. Life won't stop just because I haven't been ok. Pero, I have to recognize the fact that I have to go through the steps of getting better. The pain, the suffering, the tears. each is a part of the greater plan for us. I write this wholeheartedly, even when the truth really hurts. Minsan, I wish that 9 out of 10 people have happy endings, pero where's the worthiness of living if all people gets to be happy all the time. Nakakatuwa din na nagkaron na ako ng alone time at last. I needed that.

So hanggang dito nalang muna. Bigla nablanko utak ko.

God bless :)