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Showing posts from July, 2010

Thanks to being alone for the past few weeks.

I have learned to blog again. On this page, no one can talk behind me, no one can say anything about me, no restrictions, no conditions, no compromises, just me. I miss being alone and myself. I never wanted pleasing people or compromising, or even sacrificing things to make someone happy. I stopped that last one a few years ago. But as for the others, I was never like that. But for the couple of months, I became vulnerable again, gullible. This blog was a witness for everything. But now, this blog is my only friend, my bestfriend. I'm trying to fight the tears while typing, I have been backreading through old posts everywhere. But I guess I had to wake up from that dream. Good thing no one would call me or whatsoever. Good thing I don't talk to anyone who'd remind me of how good those three months were. It was so surreal, I had to snap out of it. Once again, I am back to square one. I will try to live like it never existed. I will try to make myself feel better, and I'
I was supposed to go out today. But the rain is pouring hard. God seriously is on my side. He just cried for me. It's hard to understand things, and myself nowadays. And believe me. I have tried to comprehend a lot of times, but failed. And until now, still the same. 2 people failed me. And I guess after today, I don't want to trust anymore. It sucks. I'm back to trying to cry, but I can't. I'm back to whatever happens, happens. I'm back to everything comes and goes.


I haven't posted anything in forever so I thought I'd post sth again. Time has passed and a lot of things had happened. There are things which we cannot change, things we haven't done, or things we shouldn't have done. But more than that, time can stand and test our personalities and how long we can keep going with life. It's a test on how strong you are, or how can you pass circumstances in whatever endeavor that comes your way. And probably this is something until now, my God is checking on me. For the past years, a lot has changed. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. If not a lot, maybe everything changed about me. I don't know if everything was for the better or for the worst but everyone has his or her opinions regarding such. And I say that myself too. It has both pros and cons. But more than that all I know is that God has plans. I have been wanting to blog and share everything, but I know I cant do that anymore. I am not my old self, and honestly, I don&