So they say.

I am sitting at a place that gives me quite a bit of inspiration. I found this place through friends and the buzz, and tonight, I have been working for an hour here already. Staying here just for one night lights up my mood today, given the circumstances I am in at the moment. So I have been pretty jittery abut the thought that I might be plus one, but I don't think God will allow it at this point in my life that everything is just too shady and sketchy. Anyway, it's 9:48PM, I got here around 830pm, really tired from visiting 22 households. I really tried to smile and put on a brave face, but I know there were instances my loneliness and sadness are evident. I know life has been quite shitty these days, but I try to find comfort in myself and the thought that maybe I still can do it, even if currently, almost everything is just not going my way. Today was quite okay, compared to the past weeks. Apart from my jitters about the thing, I am feeling quite okay. Breathing well, ...

I can't hold it in anymore. I can't keep it together. I want to runaway. I want an escape. I want to get away from everything surrounding me. I need to breathe. I'm suffocated. I'm lost. I want to wander somewhere unknown, be with people I am familiar with. Familiarity is something I need right now, along with a getaway. I had a quite long weekend, unexpectedly, and things started to change. Or I thought it would. I thought it would be for the better, but here I am typing like a cynic and is about to lose myself from the delusions of my life and the pains of every event that had happened. I really want to let go everything already, bit by bit and slowly but surely. I don't know why, but I feel that as much as I want to let go everything already, it's hard. Loneliness and pain have been my friends ever since I can remember. Let me tell you first about my weekend since I actually thought it was my break through already. So Last Thursday, let's start with...