So they say.

I made this blog/journal a couple of years ago for the sole purpose of just random life stories, and eventually became my sole sanctuary for no holds barred thoughts and feelings. I do know that there are a few people who actually know about this blog, but those people are the people whom I know would just read quietly and would just check on me every now and then and just that. Those people care from me from afar and that this is their way of keeping in touch with me. I like that. I like how this blog worked for me for so many years, and that up until now, this blog has been saving my life. Why am I talking about the life of this blog? I am not sure either. But I guess it's the new year feelings, and that a lot has happened since the last time I have written something here. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. There are actually no words to describe it. I also keep this blog for memory purposes. I try not to name drop here as much as I can. I have been having trouble rememberin...

I haven't written anything in my journal for the longest time, and I have been putting off typing something here. So yeah. Here it goes. Today started out okay. Having a longer time to sleep, which means, longer than 3-4 hours, is something I barely get in these years of limbo. Before this long time sleep, I have been sleeping 2-4 hours on average for a week or two. Not sure if it's because I have a lot on my plate about work, or because my life is such a mess, but sometimes I wake up sweaty, agitated, scared, worried, anxious. I guess I get nightmares, but luckily, I don't remember them. But someone gave me a perspective about this, that I am choosing not to disclose first at the moment. I'm still holding on, trying to keep myself together, keeping every thing in as much as I can, and trying to make sure everyone feels I'm okay even though there are days I can't hold on anymore. Over the past couple of days to weeks, been nostalgic about a lot of things. ...