So they say.

After 10 days (including the day I met my shrink), I finally decided to send her a note. A very long one. It included details of my normal rants, and my stories and my thoughts which are actually saved in my phone now. It also includes things I haven't told anyone, and I think she has to know.  Everything is slowing my mind down, but at the same time, riling up too. See the contradiction right there? Yeah. I know. A living contradiction.  This is currently my main issue. But a lot of other concerns has been piling up.  People say I am over reacting on everything, but I guess it's just hard to explain what you are going through when you can't understand it yourself.  2:56PM Broke down an hour ago, and still figuring out why. Now I know what's making my mind slow down, but I am riling up too. Same reason why I have been trying to make a journal of my life. Because I am in denial of what is happening to me. It hasn't sank in completely that I am sick and that...

I have so many things running in my head ever since I went to see a shrink a few days ago. I feel I am so close to going crazy and about to lose myself. There are moments I feel like crying, like now. And maybe a little later on I will laugh my heart out. Earlier today, I was actually laughing with my boss because of something quite work related/non-work related. I need a breather. I need a place where I can talk and no one will judge, no one can bite my thoughts. Because currently, I really feel I need a caring hug. I need a sanctuary. I need a moment of silence and I need someone to just make me feel secured and safe.  I finally went to counselling a few weeks ago and it was okay. I didn't feel like this, going twisted and crazy, after the session, though I was referred to a shrink. Yes, you read that right. A psychiatrist in some layman's terms. I was very hesitant, but I feel I could not control myself anymore, so I am trying as much as possible to psych myself that I nee...