Skip to main content

Confessions.


  1. I have been sulking since I don't know when. I stay in a lot more than I usually do, and I don't enjoy going out as much as I would normally do. I avoid being with people, and I don't enjoy company much anymore. 
  2. I really need to talk about what I should be talking about. It is starting to mess everything. 
  3. I am not functional anymore. 
  4. I miss lunch guy, a lot. I want him to be the first person I start opening up to.
  5. I am scared of everything and everyone at the moment. I wish it is just panic attacks or anxiety attacks, but yeah. Much more than that. 
  6. I miss my old self. I miss the life I used to live. I may have not lived comfortably before. But hell, I don't live right now anyway. Like what was mentioned during the Grand Feast yesterday, there are dead people, half dead people. I think I am one of them. 
  7. Grand Feast yesterday made me think about a lot of things in my life.
  8. I am worried about a friend. I know he has been going through a lot of things in his life, and I hope that he is okay. I included him in my prayers yesterday during the Grand Feast.
  9. I am lost. Completely, totally. 
  10. I wish to talk to my dad about certain things. 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Epekto ng pagkajologs at walang tulog.

I have to admit, when I saw the trailers in ABS, I knew it would be such a craze, a big hit, and a good one. It started late nights, then when I was about to watch, was moved before 6PM. Cruel, right? Very much indeed. I tried my best to get hold of a DVD copy of the Korean version with subtitles in English, ALAS, I did. Thanks to my ever loving bestfriend. We did find a very good copy. I was so eager to watch, because I have missed a lot. And, after watching for 1 and a half days. Literally, from 11:30PM of Saturday, July 11, to July 13, 2009 at 5:30AM, with only 4 hour sleep. The break I had was peeing and bath. Rather than that, nothing. I ditched all my plans for Sunday. I just wanted to cut myself some slack and just do nothing. I wanted to separate myself, even for at least just this weekend. For me to rethink, reorganize, and reflect on everything. Apologies to my dearest God, because I didn't attend mass and missed the practice for Lord's day. I can't help it, the B...
4 comments
Read more

Looking back 2009.

http://marge0256.multiply.com/journal/item/119/2008. I read my blog (the link above) when I got back this morning from a hella crazy night. Reading my past blog, I know I had to blog once again. It's been a while since I blogged anything. Haha. This year, was g enerally so so. Had my highs and lows as well. And I want to share it in detail. Seriously, in detail. I ended 2008 breaking u p with Kat. For thos of you who don't know, I had an almost 1 year official relationship with a girl AGAIN. And of course, after the break-up, we were still in contact so technically, we werent completely over each other. I started 2009 with high hopes o f us getting back together, and us fixing things. But instead, we separated ways after a few months. We celebrated our anniversary yes, but after that, I guess it was not meant to be. As of now, we still talk sometimes, but nonetheless, a lot has changed, for her and for me. She's moving to a different department, a department I highly recom...
3 comments
Read more

The past two months that led up to this.

One of the things I hate besides betrayal/lying is feeling being used by someone, for reasons very obvious. This is why whenever I get into any kind of relationship, I assess and ask what is it that I really want or the other person wants from the relationship. And I make it sure and clear. I am very bad at trusting people, but once I do trust, anything lesser than that is disappointing and betrayal, still. This time, it makes me feel worse. Not that I was just betrayed, but I was even used. And when I say used, yes, physically used. And fuck that shit. Seriously, I don't think I can ever forget that. Up until I type this, there is a bit of hope that it isn't the case, but time and time again, I see it is just that. So a couple of months ago, I was surprisingly in a very odd set up with a guy I barely know (yes, again, I know). And the difference with this is that the guy is a good friend, or so I thought, of a really good friend. It started out as innocent, with us just hang...
2 comments
Read more