- I have been sulking since I don't know when. I stay in a lot more than I usually do, and I don't enjoy going out as much as I would normally do. I avoid being with people, and I don't enjoy company much anymore.
- I really need to talk about what I should be talking about. It is starting to mess everything.
- I am not functional anymore.
- I miss lunch guy, a lot. I want him to be the first person I start opening up to.
- I am scared of everything and everyone at the moment. I wish it is just panic attacks or anxiety attacks, but yeah. Much more than that.
- I miss my old self. I miss the life I used to live. I may have not lived comfortably before. But hell, I don't live right now anyway. Like what was mentioned during the Grand Feast yesterday, there are dead people, half dead people. I think I am one of them.
- Grand Feast yesterday made me think about a lot of things in my life.
- I am worried about a friend. I know he has been going through a lot of things in his life, and I hope that he is okay. I included him in my prayers yesterday during the Grand Feast.
- I am lost. Completely, totally.
- I wish to talk to my dad about certain things.
I realized that I have not written anything here in forever, and it has been three years since my last note. I couldn't believe that time flew by fast and that I have drank a cumulative amount of a whole bottle of wine today starting from lunch. I used to dislike wine, but here I am. I have officially drank 4 bottles of wine since May 23, 2020, a bottle of which I think I consumed that same night. Right now, I only have one and a half bottles left of wine, which means I either conserve wine or get myself two more bottles. Go figure what my choice would be. So how am I? I think I'm better than where I was three years ago, but in some aspects, probably far worse. I have experienced so much the last three years, an emotional and verbal abusive relationship with the last relationship I posted here, started a good relationship with wine also, slowed down in terms of drinking habits, moved jobs, hated my dad more, missed him sometimes as well, lost both grandparents in my dad's...
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