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Day 7.

This is the 7th day I am stuck at home, and it has been both stressful and chill at the same time. That;s a bit weird. But here's the thing, while I am getting enough rest, it might be too much, and I am worried about a lot of things, especially yung wala na akong sweldo next payday and too much work piling. HAHA.

Anyway, what happened that led me to 7 days stuck at home?

I got hit by a car, well, my right foot did. And somehow, thanking God that it was only my right foot forward. If not for that, I may be in so much more trouble than it is at the moment. 

It was Wednesday, July 5, around 9AM, I just timed in for work, and I was supposed to cross the street to get food from Ate Glo, when a car suddenly hit my foot. I remember trying to cross and didn't actually see a car. But to be fair, I did not hear a hard horn beep from the car, the driver just went straight hitting
my foot. Then everything just suddenly stopped for me. I was in complete shock because it was supposed to be just a regular day with overtime to finish my report to be submitted since I was scheduled to go on leave the day after that. But then, it just happened. Everyone came up to me and asking how I was, and people telling me that the driver was driving too fast, and now I'm less shocked and all, I think so too. And then, I remember the driver stopping and checking what happened and offered to bring me to the nearest clinic. When I agreed, I saw the guards asking for his details as well, and getting the plate number and all. The first person I called was Via, to let her know I will be taken to the hospital. Then when I was in the car, I saw my boss and she saw me before I left for the hospital. At this point my tears are starting to fill my eyes but I tried my hardest not to. I barely felt pain but I was just noticing all people panicking and worried about me. I kept telling people I was okay, because at that time I was not feeling anything. And then a medical aid accompanied me to the hospital as well. 

Initially I was supposed to be brought to New World, but medical aid insisted I be brought to a hospital, and I decided to be brought to Commonwealth as it is the hospital I am used to bringing relatives, and also it is a bit near. That's when I started calling friends and my mom. I couldn't contact my mom so I asked Kaila to contact her. And then when we were at the clinic where the driver's family needed to visit (because apparently, the reason why the driver was in a rush because his child was sick, I actually felt bad for him but I got injured so I was also worried about myself). Then my mom called me to make sure I was okay and she was also rushing to the hospital. Then, coworkers called me to let me know they were going too. Before going to the hospital, that's when it started to sink in that I got hit by a car. Then I cried. Hard. Then the driver and the medical aid were talking to me trying to make me feel better but I know its just going to get worse. 

Arriving at the hospital, I was assisted already, wound had to be cleaned and I had to get two tetanus shots. It was painful. Then had to get xrays to be sure no fractures or whatsoever. Glad that wala but foot was super swollen already and I am starting to feel pain. While I was getting my xray, I cried my heart out because out of all days, it just had to happen. I know I needed rest, but not this bad. But maybe God was also telling me that this is what I needed. To sit back, and rethink of a lot of things in my life. I remember Kai also arriving in the hospital because she became too worried I was not updating or saying anything and just letting her know I'm fine and thanking her for letting my mom know. I also saw how worried my mom was even if she was very calm and composed. She had to rush to get to the hospital to make sure I was okay. I saw the relief in her eyes. My coworkers arrived too and assisted me and helped me out. They were making sure I was okay, and also made sure that stuff needed to be filled out would be fixed too. 

It was a relief to know I still matter in this world, in a place where I feel I barely exist, I barely feel anything and on most days I just feel stuffed or useless and unhelpful and a burden to people. It was somehow nice to know that people cared if something happened to me, but also started to feel burdened of how many people I bother on a daily basis. I am feeling day by day how much of a nuisance I am and wonder why I still exist in this world most of the time.

Despite all these thoughts, I also felt thankful for little things in my life and just pray that until I decide to die, or up until I do, that little things remind me of God' grace and the goodness in this world. In a world full of chaos and insanity, that there are little things to remind me/us that the world can be a better place.

Right now, I have too much thoughts and feelings, but I thought of putting this one here, in case I need to remind myself of something, or some things.


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