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This is it.

I have been talking to someone for months how I have been wanting to do something that will test me to my limit, and this Monday, I found an opportunity to do so.

As one of my good friends/mentors mentioned, it can work both ways for me. It can help me regain something, or, it can make me go downward spiral and go back possibly somewhere behind I am now, or worse.

As I type this, my mind is really going nuts. I have a huge headache, my heartbeat is faster every time that thought comes, and my heart may not be ready for what Monday is about to bring me.

I call the heavens and the stars, and I pray to God that Monday will take me somewhere good. I will try not to think about it too much, but I am worried this weekend might bring me more nightmares than usual.

Dear God, I don't ask for much. But today, I really pray that Monday will be okay. I do not want to end up somewhere I have never experienced, or something I did and would never want to go back ever.
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