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Lost in translation.

Looking outside the hospital windows and corridors, I see the people, streets with and without anything, the view, the sky, the houses, and I stare at them blankly. I look into the horizon and I see nothing. I try to arrange thoughts, but all that happens would be tears building up in my eyes. I am not sure what is in the back of my head, but I am sure they are not happy thoughts. I find myself lost in my own world again, standing alone, and feeling shaded by everything around me.

Sky outside is gloomy, and maybe as gloomy as how I feel at the moment. I tell myself everything is gonna be okay. And I believe it. I am just not sure if I will be okay. Emotions have been very erratic, thoughts have gone up and down, and I am not sure if this is the break that I need. I don’t think this is the break that I need. Everything is so chaotic, and all my thoughts are locked up somewhere in my head. I keep figuring out how to let them out, I even thought of calling people, but when I do, I feel like I just want to feel them at the other side of the line and hang up. No words can express my thoughts and feelings at the moment. These are those moments I just want to sit somewhere, look outside, stare at everything, and lean on someone’s shoulder, or hold someone’s hand, or cry.


I don’t know what triggers me to be where I am, but all I know is that I need this moment. I need this time to feel everything. I know where I am, but nobody knows where I am. 
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