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As long as you love me.

No, not the Backstreet Boys song. And yes, it's the Justin Bieber song.

I have a hard time thinking of titles for blogs since this is my to go to blog when I have thoughts, mostly bothering and depressing. So apologies for this.

Random. I was watching The Voice when I heard this song in the Battles round. And Efff. Their rendition is just too good to ignore.

Anyway, moving on.

Words that I would really like to try doing and practice.

I am trying. It is so hard to break away from a three and a half year habit. And I swear, each day passing is like a knife cutting my wrist. Sometimes, it could be a scratch. Sometime, it could be long enough to bleed a bit, or sometimes, too deep that I might lose myself in the process. Every day isn't the same. But every day, there is pain.

Went to church again earlier. Apparently, it is becoming a habit that when I feel uneasy, I try going to church.. better if there will be someone with me in case I lose myself and cry or collapse.

Two Sundays ago, I was with my bestfriend and I broke down during homily. Earlier today, I was with a colleague. I fought the urge to be emotional since I don't want to be judged.

I have been praying for patience, understanding and faith. At this point in my life. I really need all these three. So many things have been bugging me, and have been distracting me from trying to fix my life or from trying to be okay. I lost someone so dear to me. And with everything that's happening. I don't think I can afford to lose anyone anymore.

On a lighter note. Mass earlier made me think on how to address my personal issues. Let's see what happens.

Sorry for the random post. I just need to try to vent a bit.
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