So they say.

Sorry. Me, being an official fangirl started Friday night. :) I spazz everyday, I do daily rounds of blogs and videos to make sure I'm updated. I buy their CDs and DVDs like there is no tomorrow. I listen to ONLY their songs on my iPod. To make things.. I don't know, worse? or better. I even started writing again. Fanfics for that matter. I started with this poem I made. :D It started with a very short poem. Not this. But one short poem I made a month ago. Because I was inspired by my friend Gwyn, a Member of Triple S Philippines. This was created because of my addiction. Thanks to my friends, and to gwyn of course :) ____________ I made this last night. Along with several friends. Namely Bela and Cresa. Hype of watching Love Like This MV. It started with a few lines witgh SS501 songs, and ended in this manner. I hope everyone gets to enjoy this. Despite the fact that it was intended for my love and addiction for my oppa. :) _____________ On the wee hours of October 23, ...

Life Goes On Leann Rimes Life goes on, life goes on Life goes on, life goes on You sucked me in And played my mind Just like a toy You were crank and wind Baby I would give till you wore it out You left me lyin' in a pool of doubt And you're still thinkin' you're the Daddy Mac You should've known better but you didn't And I can't go back Oh life goes on And it's only gonna make me strong It's a fact, once you get on board Say good-bye cause you can't go back Oh it's a fight, and I really wanna get it right Where I'm at, is my life before me And this feelin' that I can go back Life goes on (repeat 2X) Wish I knew then What I know now You held all the cards And sold me out Baby shame on you, if you fool me once Shame on me if you fool me twice You've been a pretty hard case to crack Should've known better but I didn't And I can't go back Oh life goes on And it's only gonna make me strong It's a fact, once you get...

Yes, you read that right. I have been into them since I knew about Leader, and now, I'm too hooked to let go. SS501 keeps me sane everyday. I have placed a playlist of them and listen to them every single day. I don't have an update about American music, but I always have an update on SS501 and KPop. I don't read a lot lately, but I do go on rounds like every 2-3 hours daily to check on updates of SS501. That's how addicted I am. I tweet and plurk whenever I feel that rush opr I learned anything about them. And I smile whenever I read news, watch vids, and talk to others about them, especially my Leader, love. I was supposed to go to HK to watch their concert, but opted to go next year with some new friends I met in the Triple S form. *Triple S is the fanbase of SS501* I hope it pushes through. That, my friend is how I am into them, and how addicted, and how crazy I am about them. But seriously, I don't know why I'm posting once again. I have been such a private...

Something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long. No matter what I say or do, I still feel you're here till the moment I'm gone.

I feel that I have things to say, or I have a lot on my mind right now. But too bad, I can't seem to put it into words. Seriously. I feel so introverted, which is so not me. Watched Time Traveler's Wife yesterday with my bestfriend. I look forward to weekends because of her. A lot of things going on, I don't know how to release my thoughts through words. O well. Boo me.

You always, always just make me taste a glimpse of rush. That sudden rush towards my heart. Yet again, I yearn. Because once again, it was just a glimpse.

I haven't posted something that makes sense. I missed blogging again. I have been so pre-occupied with stuff, that I seldom use the net for this leisure. As you can see, I'm addicted to leader Kim Hyun Joong, to Korean shows, almost anything Korean. I don't know, I have never been this hooked before. I finished 2 Korean shows, with my hectic busy schedule. What else? I don't know. I was supposed to sleep already, but alas, I'm here in front of the PC, typing. It's almost 1AM. I'm listening to some English songs, which was featured in JoongBo's episodes. Ok. I have been listening to Korean songs everyday. I seldom listen to other songs lately. I like the meaning of their songs. And the beat, melody, it's fun listening to them. These things have been keeping me sane lately. This destresses me. How am I? I can't answer that question as well. I think I'm ok. I'm glad that now I can breathe, I think only, or mostly about work, future, plans. I...

OK. So I haven't posted anything in almost a month. I'm still alive. I need to sleep, but since I had coffee. I don't know what time will I be able to do that. I want to watch more vids of my love, but I am so tired and lazy to DL or watch it on you tube. I am more addicted to him than ever. Seriously, this might be an effect of not having a boyfriend, and I am now very choosy when it comes to even crushes. Crap. I hate it. Haha! O well, I have much to share, but don;t know how to put it into typing. So there.

I am almost done watching JoongBo episodes of We Got Married. My sister is also into it already, since she's quite interested in KPop as well. I am envious with the friendship, infatuation, affection, attraction, chemistry, care and love of Hwang Bo to her husband, Kim Hyun Joong and vice versa. The younger/older couple, who has a 6-year age gap difference, is one of the most loved couples in the show. Both are singers, and apparently, both have a lot of common qualities, which were revealed during the 30 episodes they were in. They started episode 9 of the show, and bid their good byes in episode 30, if I'm not mistaken, due to the busy schedule of Kim Hyun Joong because of Boys Over Flowers. I am so moved by the relationship they have. For those 8 months they were together as a "couple", they did their best to be better persons for themselves, and for their better halves. People have seen them grow, as their own personas, and as a couple. They have learned so much a...

Like I said before, when you gather a thousand pieces of cranes, your love will come true.. You found 5 today and I gave you one last time.. but that was gone because it got wet.. Including that one, 994 cranes, I'll make them for you. I think I'll hide them in harder places next time.. I'll be good for 994 days. - Kim Hyung Joong ♥ His smiles and the things that can make me smile.. I think those are the most important.. and the hardest things.. If you have those two..Why would people break up or fight? - Hwang Bo ♥ Both lines were mentioned in this Korean show I am watching, which features Kim Hyun Joong and Hwang Bo as a married couple. These 2 lines made my day. It just says a lot about life, and love. :) Episode 21 :) Quoted from this blog : "i've been watching this show, "we got marrie d", la te ly. it features make believe wedded couples in their everyday adventures with life. with every show, y o u can't help but have favorites. this is qu...

MARRY ME KIM HYUN JOONG! One hell of a guy. An actor, a dancer and a singer. He plays a lot of instruments, and good in sports as well. Super talented. And very HOT INDEED. :) What more can someone ask for? Can he just exist in my world? OMCHEE.

I have to admit, when I saw the trailers in ABS, I knew it would be such a craze, a big hit, and a good one. It started late nights, then when I was about to watch, was moved before 6PM. Cruel, right? Very much indeed. I tried my best to get hold of a DVD copy of the Korean version with subtitles in English, ALAS, I did. Thanks to my ever loving bestfriend. We did find a very good copy. I was so eager to watch, because I have missed a lot. And, after watching for 1 and a half days. Literally, from 11:30PM of Saturday, July 11, to July 13, 2009 at 5:30AM, with only 4 hour sleep. The break I had was peeing and bath. Rather than that, nothing. I ditched all my plans for Sunday. I just wanted to cut myself some slack and just do nothing. I wanted to separate myself, even for at least just this weekend. For me to rethink, reorganize, and reflect on everything. Apologies to my dearest God, because I didn't attend mass and missed the practice for Lord's day. I can't help it, the B...

I really want to blog a lot of thoughts I have in my head but.. A. I'm too tired from work, or whatever it is I do. B. I don't know how to put it exactly into words. Sorry, me labo much. But right now, my life is spinning, my world is just falling into pieces. I'm just glad I have friends and a God who reminds me on what to do. Honestly, I am really losing hope. I don't understand why things are happening. I may say this often, that I am depressed, and that I feel so sad and all, but seriously, I just want to say all those things, so I can let everything go. Even though it's so freakingly hard, I know everything will fall into place. Details soon. I need tons of prayers. About work, family, and the pain I am going through, and everything else in between.

I'm having dinner with my YFC-UST loves later at Slice and Dice :) I have been spending so much time with them. And I thank God for having them, especially in times I need people to comfort and listen. Pero I know, through good or bad, they'll be there. And I am for them as well. I miss hanging out with them, spending time with them, and now, I am so blessed and thankful na I have the time and all. :D Since uso din ang catching up, will go out with my closest high school friends, Kara and Marian this coming Saturday. Where? Of course, sa restobar namin. Haha! :) Lunch at Gorgespot on Saturday. Kara and I saw each other at church kanina. We see each other every now and then, pero si Marian, madalang. So it's super good that Saturday will be our Lunch date. :) Also, I plan to go to CVG this Saturday. 6AM. After the team's shift. TK it is. I super miss my teammates and friends over there. Good times CVG people! :D My contract at work is almost up, July 24 is my last day. I...

Got this one from a movie. :) "Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain ...

HI FRIENDS, I'M HELPING OUT A FRIEND. -- Please be a fan of the page Oblation Run (Which is created by HER) She needs as much fans as she could by tomorrow evening. This is for a project. THANK YOU.

I'm not sure what I would exactly write. My thoughts, pouring during the mass, now is empty. Sunday for me is rest day/family day. So the normal Sunday I have is stay at the resto, mass and dinner. But today was different, since I had the chance to go to the parlor, and go to S&R and found my super super favorite chocolates: 3 MUSKETEERS!!! I so love 'em. :) This is my new hair, by the way. I don't know why I allowed everyone to cut my hair, but I did. Now, this is the new look. I hope it's a different me. Now this is what I'm talking about. I loooovvvveeee MUSKETEERS. Big time :D I only find this at S&R Munoz. Wuhoo! Anyway, moving on. Normally, I end my day with the mass. And today was no difference. I went to the 5PM mass at UST church *oh how I miss the church at Greenbelt, sniff sniff* Like what we normally do the past few Sundays, but this day was different. I cried the whole time the Gospel was read, until the end of homily. Last night, I ...

I never thought that he was the person I would not want in my life, until now. I'm such a loser, for me to see it just now, how pathetic I am for hooking up with someone who can't even respect a woman/girl. I now know better. Nuff said.

Nuff said. I just hope that what I'm feeling right now, is caused by my hormones. If not, seriously. Screw you. Ex # 1. You were the one who called me earlier today. And now, you tell me I am demanding. Screw you. Ex # 2 You chose someone else. We can't be friends. I'm still in the process of healing. It's over. Screw you. Ex # 3 Kahit papaano, we're ok, but I am still pissed by the fact that you think I'm nakikialam. Hey, I'm a friend to everyone, including enemies and exes. Screw you. I hate times like these. I hope things will be better. I don't want any issues or problems with anyone. That's the least of my concerns. For you Ex 1 and 3. Please. Be nice to everyone. And for Ex 3. just screw you. You broke my heart.

From my multiply. Warning: What you're gonna read here would most probably be not suitable for plain viewing. Understanding is utterly needed. :) Because of yesterday's events. Madami ako masusulat dito, lalo na ang mga kasuluk-sulukang secrets ko siguro. Haha. Yesterday, maybe one of the most unforgettable days of my life. Yesterday, I had to go on biglaang half-day just to make sure I can come with Shelly. I met Shelly when I was in high school, siya ang una, at tanging girl na niligawan ko. I courted her way back in HS, fourth year if I am not mistaken. We were with Franz and KC yesterday. KC is one of Shelly's closest friends, and her bestfriend I must say, and Franz, 3 batches lower, is also one of Shelly's closest. They apparently have a lot of things in common. :) We decided to go back to our beloved STC. Beloved really, I have never come back to STC since like, 5 years ago. The last time I went there was 1st day of my First year in college. Tapos, yun na. So y...

Dearest Gian, Sayo ko nalang iaaddress tong short blog ko. I felt the same way when I woke up this morning. About your plurk. I'm sure you remember. Like what I said, God has plans. It was the 17th of the month. I am not sure that you remember, but 17 was "our" number. And yesterday, of course was 17. Its been a month and a few days since everything changed. When I got to work, I was so lazy, because I felt sad and blue. But at the end of the day, I realized, I didn't dwell so much on telling people na it's 17, na it's supposed to be our day. Pero, it never happened because of all the circumstances. Now, thinking about it, nalulungkot ako uli. But I know, in God's time, I will wake up, not thinking about him anymore. We may have different reasons why things didn't work out so well. Like what I posted in my facebook, after all these years I realized it's just not worth it. I got my answer. I thought he was the one, but he was just one of them. After...

God blessed me so much. As in! Wednesday, June 10 -- Craved for Mr. Kabab. Anjo was there to accompany me with my craving, then Sbux after. Stories galore, full tummies :) Gian's birthday. Excited for her party! Thursday, June 11 -- Accompanied Anjo to watch metro station. Shake shake! Then, dinner at Jack's loft. Full again. Saw my nephew, super big and cute siya! :) After, club LAX for PCD's afterparty. Eye-flirting is the game. Had so much fun with Anjo sa Trinoma, Ate Onick, CY and her BF at club LAX. Even though umaga na ako almost nakauwi. 3:30AM. haha. Saturday, June 13 -- Something happened. Not worth making kwento so much, but this incident, as bad or weird or whatever it may seem, was forgotten because of the much awaited Gian's birthday celeb/celeb for passing the boards. It became a sorta YFC-UST reunion. Super fun filled day talaga! As in, bangagan, swimming, stories, may nalasing, nagpanggap na hindi, hindi uminom, hindi makainom, kumain, umiyak, tumawa, l...

I'm just at peace right now. Not feeling the sadness, the miseries and everything else in between. For the first time in a long while, I felt free. I felt comfortable from where I am, and not expecting anything. I don't mind being alone and single, because I know God's plans are better than mine. Who knows? I end up being a nun. Wuhoo. I am so thrilled over God's plans.. And waiting for you, is so worth it :) Makes my heart hump every time. Patience :) on the other hand, I am bumming out in the wee hours of the morning. Very very sad. One of exes is leaving to work somewhere. Even though we broke up 2 years ago, we became friends almost a year after the break up. I feel I'm losing one of my bestfriends.. and th e only guy who can keep up with every little details, itch and hang-ups I have in my life. I'm sure at one point, you'll be able to read this. I am bumming out because you're leaving. Seriously. You're the closest to a brother/dad/bestfriend/...

After this day, I realized one big thing. Be careful with your decisions. Then, it just hit me. I went out today, to conquer one of my fears -- horror movies. I am successful to do it, I screamed, shouted, and lastly, laughed. It was hilarious. Everything is a choice. And right now, I just realized, I am ready. I am so ready :) Church with my family and her, movie with her. It just felt so good to feel alive again :) I really wanted to go out last night. Pero, I didn't happened. Hence I craved for ice cream. So I went out, even though my bestfriend told me not to. And it felt good, to do something you want, without people having to force you not to, or to force you to do it. To do it with though and choice. Now, I decided to conquer the fear of horror movies in a movie house. Also, I shoted and screamed all my heart out. It just felt so good, to release everything, and to simply let go of your fears and just scream and shout all the pain, hurt, anger and everything else in between....

Ok, it's 2:32 AM, and I'm starting again. praying that it won't take me 4 hours to compose this one. The last one lasted for so long, I forgot what I want to tell exactly. Now that I am in my most bangag moment, especially for quite sometime. I have not been doing OT, or OTY for that matter. I was too depressed to do so. So here I am, blogging again. I have decided to give the scrapbook to him. and the CD as well. But I have to finish the scrapbook. It's such a mess, because i didn't finish it. I was too upset to do so. So there. Besides, I think that there' s nothing left for me to lose, so why not give it to him. Since he wants it. And I clearly don't need to keep it. It would just sulk me into bitterness and despair if I do have it and look at it everytime I miss him. I also plan to give back the things he gave me. Dalawa lang naman yun. Enough of the drama. But I know I will still rant some more. haha. A lot has been happening lately. Not just of the dra...

I was supposed to blog last night, but was too sleepy and quite lazy to do so. So now, I was supposed to sleep until like 10 or 11, but I woke up 7:30AM and can't sleep. Okay. 7th week of CLP. 8th I must say, including the orientation. Everyday has been a work in progress, a struggle and a fight for life and happiness. Pain is inevitable in life I know, ang change as well, but pain can be prevented. Or I just tell that to myself every time. Change has been so eminent in my life lately, alongside pain. People won't notice who I am after every single day, but I know how I act and feel towards things lately. It started when decided to go out with one of my exes. And the list of changes goes on and on. I decided to attend CLP, someone from work moved to a different content, financial issues with regards to the restaurant and personal finances as well, the people from resto leaving with money and things, moving from Novaliches to Manila, family issues, the ex I dated is with someone...

I would like to use this blog for my innermost feelings. And currently, I want change. That is why I am doing this. Instead of me, making another website, I would just use one of my old ones. Funfunfun. Change is inevitable, and the only constant thing in this world.

I was on my way home. Tapos, someone saw the book I was reading. Love in the Time of Cholera. Sabi nung officemate ko, super boring ng movie, pero maganda ang essence ng book naman, unrequited love. Tapos, nasabi ko I shopped for books kahapon. Sabay sabi niya.. "nako, depressed." I was shocked. Ganun ba yun? Ngayon na nga lang ako ulit nagshop ng books eh! Ampness. O well, maybe that's the thing. It's not very often I do things for myself. Because when I am in love, I give everything. So now, that I am all alone, and single. I find time to do things that I like, like reading. tambay sessions, hang-outs, music, and tv, and most of all sleep. But honestly, I miss having that one person you can call your better half, that significant other, or if lucky, the "one". I miss having that constant thing in my life, the one who wants to be with you, who hugs you, who wipes your tears when you're sad. The one who makes you smile from the simplest to the corniest ...