Skip to main content

Update.

So what's up everyone? 

Merry Christmas to everyone. Just had the craziest month in a while. From last few weeks at work, to a vacation, to last few days at work, to a new job, to wrapping gifts and spending time with family. 

It's surprising that the month just passed without me realizing it and now I think I should post and prepare my year end post already. 2013 was just a lot to handle for me. 

How has everything been? Finally! Pushed my Singapore trip through already. It was 6 days of pure bliss and craziness,  realizations and good times. A few annoying moments but nonetheless everything was all good. Saw my crush with her girlfriend, and told him I was reallt happy for him. :) shopped Christmas gifts for everyone, well, family, and got a gift from friends too. Chocolates galoreeeee. Got to taste my fave chocolate again. Too happy ♡ Singapore is indeed a happy place, but my ex doesn't really like that place as it reminds her of so many bad memories, I guess. 

The last few weeks at work was crazy as well. And I was honestly too lazy already. I tried my best to finish what I can and in the end I think I somehow pulled through. I don't miss work at all. I mean the old job. Though my body isn't really used to enough rest and sleep, but I mean I am really okay with it. I kinda miss knowing that a few friends were just a few steps away whenever I need a break or someone to talk to, but its all good. It's part of life. 

Started the new job last week. And it was culture shock in a lot of ways. From knowing that I do have a senior post, from trying to get to know everyone and trying to get along.. from getting used to commuting in the morning during rush hour. And also getting used to the normal life. I admit, I am surprised at myself for keeping up qith everyone's friendliness since I am not the type. But I sort of start to feel a little comfortable even if it has been a week only. Got to meet the people I would work with,  and met people from the other teams.. and prospect? Yes. Haha. Have a tiny bit of crush on the side too. Sssgg. Do not tell anyone. Haha. But yeah. I have to get used to so many things, especially the work. Haven't started training formally yet, but I have so much to learn. From how to do my job, to how to get to field work, from being able to interact with everyone, and how does the routine of the job go. The job is very laidback, as to what I have been used to, so I find time to appreciate or even look into life as it is now. I am also trying to come up with a plan on how to include exercise and masses within the week since I work on a regular shift and I dont want to commit mistakes at the moment. I really do have a lot to learn and I am hoping and praying hard that this opportunity was the right thing for me. So far, I have not regretted leaving. And I do like the atmosphere of the new job. But let's see. 

I also learned that I have to be able to learn fast since I will already go on field next month. It really scares me and at the same time, I am excited with what it has to offer me. 

How is my heart? Surprisingly okay. I didn't shed a tear with benjax' wedding.. didn't expect it that way. I thought I will cry and do self pity and all, but God reaffirmed me that I made the right choice. I also got in contact with an ex, and I realized he hasn't changed. He still pry so much like he did back in the day. Maybe I should unfriend him again. Haha! What else, val, I mean, I still miss her, but not like I used to, I still feel attached at times, but, I realized that until I find the guts to stop talking to her, I will always have that sort of attachment.  I don't think I am ready. Though, at times, I feel I should. I want to know though where she wants me in her life because at times I think I can be deceived with what she shows and what she makes me feel or how she says she feels, something like that. But I realized I am fine already more or less, especially with the fact that we are not together anymore.  I would like to try dating in 2014, and see if God has someone He prepared for me. Though I am not in a hurry and though I think I will still be okay if I grow old not getting married or whatever. I don't really mind. I don't know if I am also closing doors for val already, or maybe I am just waiting in silence. But nonetheless, I am surprised with where I am in my life. 

One more week and it is 2014. I am excited. Scared. Hopeful. And praying. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

To whom it may concern

Hello,  I'm just writing down to put my thoughts and feelings into words, and like I say sometimes, when things come out, it becomes real. I guess, this time, this become real. I'm very very sad. It has been months since I have gone to therapy, and I have been in my saddest for quite some time. There are days I felt like giving up, days wherein day and night, all I think about is how I should die, or how to end my life, everything that is hard and hurting, and there are days I feel like I can do anything in this world, fearless and unstoppable.  Yesterday was once again a deal breaker. I felt stuffed and hurt, I felt I was not someone to be proud of, and I felt abandoned. Like I said, maybe it is for the best. I don't intend to win you over again, but I do intend to watch you from afar and just be there for you in case you need someone. I really want to be your friend, I really want to be in your life, whatever way or form. I feel like you're one of the few peopl...

Epekto ng pagkajologs at walang tulog.

I have to admit, when I saw the trailers in ABS, I knew it would be such a craze, a big hit, and a good one. It started late nights, then when I was about to watch, was moved before 6PM. Cruel, right? Very much indeed. I tried my best to get hold of a DVD copy of the Korean version with subtitles in English, ALAS, I did. Thanks to my ever loving bestfriend. We did find a very good copy. I was so eager to watch, because I have missed a lot. And, after watching for 1 and a half days. Literally, from 11:30PM of Saturday, July 11, to July 13, 2009 at 5:30AM, with only 4 hour sleep. The break I had was peeing and bath. Rather than that, nothing. I ditched all my plans for Sunday. I just wanted to cut myself some slack and just do nothing. I wanted to separate myself, even for at least just this weekend. For me to rethink, reorganize, and reflect on everything. Apologies to my dearest God, because I didn't attend mass and missed the practice for Lord's day. I can't help it, the B...

Time Flew By.

I realized that I have not written anything here in forever, and it has been three years since my last note.  I couldn't believe that time flew by fast and that I have drank a cumulative amount of a whole bottle of wine today starting from lunch. I used to dislike wine, but here I am. I have officially drank 4 bottles of wine since May 23, 2020, a bottle of which I think I consumed that same night. Right now, I only have one and a half bottles left of wine, which means I either conserve wine or get myself two more bottles. Go figure what my choice would be.  So how am I? I think I'm better than where I was three years ago, but in some aspects, probably far worse. I have experienced so much the last three years, an emotional and verbal abusive relationship with the last relationship I posted here, started a good relationship with wine also, slowed down in terms of drinking habits, moved jobs, hated my dad more, missed him sometimes as well, lost both grandparents in my dad's...