So they say.

I've been meaning to post something here, but instead of writing it down and whatnot, everything is staying in my head. Literally and figuratively. Hello from the City of Smiles. I just got back from dinner and coffee and dessert with a high school friend I haven't seen in forever and her husband. It's nice to see people from my old life every now and then, and reminds me of good times and how life used to be back then. I really appreciated the effort she and her husband did to accommodate me even in such a short notice. And they're a really lovely couple. We did eat at Bob's, had dinner with their friends here in Bacolod, as there is an event here so some of their friends are actually performers for that event, had one of the best desserts there too, and good lechon, and then had good coffee and talk after that in a hotel nearby. It's amazing how my out of the office work goes. I don't get a lot of down time since I have a schedule to meet, but, it is...

I have been sulking since I don't know when. I stay in a lot more than I usually do, and I don't enjoy going out as much as I would normally do. I avoid being with people, and I don't enjoy company much anymore.  I really need to talk about what I should be talking about. It is starting to mess everything.  I am not functional anymore.  I miss lunch guy, a lot. I want him to be the first person I start opening up to. I am scared of everything and everyone at the moment. I wish it is just panic attacks or anxiety attacks, but yeah. Much more than that.  I miss my old self. I miss the life I used to live. I may have not lived comfortably before. But hell, I don't live right now anyway. Like what was mentioned during the Grand Feast yesterday, there are dead people, half dead people. I think I am one of them.  Grand Feast yesterday made me think about a lot of things in my life. I am worried about a friend. I know he has been going through a lot of things ...