So they say.

:( I need to make things better, even for myself. I can't be stuck sad or crying all day.  It's just that.. this fanfic I am reading.. is like my dream which was taken out in my head.  I can't help but cry. Because I never mentioned anything about it, yet, it just slapped me. HARD. It reminded me of that dream I used to have almost everyday..  And that personal dream I have in my head since probably 2 or 3 years ago. Sucks because it may never come true. All I have is that fanfic that will remind me of my dream.  

So as you have noticed. I have been very emotional these past couple of weeks. And I can't really react to every single thing because I am busy. I still have gazillion of things to do.. but.. I can't because I need rest. Been sick the whole week already and I haven't been better. I hope to see a silver lining soon. Been working my ass off and I feel it isn't going anywhere. I have to suck it up until I am able to find a job I really like. I am trying not to settle for less.. but I am also having the desire to do what I really love.  Nowadays, therapy has been crossing my mind. How I wish I have a shrink friend so it won't be so costly. I think I need to have therapy in order for me to live and survive. Life has been really rough on me and sometimes I already think of giving it up. That's why I have been thinking that therapy may be necessary for me.  I am not saying I am not okay. But I can't say I am. I am somewhere. Lost, I guess. But I have to keep ...

Tatakbo at gagalaw Mag-iisip kung dapat bang bumitaw Kulang na lang, atakihin Ang pag-hinga'y nabibitin Ang dahilang alam mo na Kahit ano pang sabihin nila Tayong dalawa lamang ang makakaalam Ngunit ako ngayo'y naguguluhan Makikinig ba ako Sa aking isip na dati pa namang magulo? O iindak na lamang Sa tibok ng puso mo At aasahan ko na lamang na Hindi mo aapakan ang aking mga paa Pipikit na lamang at mag-sasayaw Habang nanonood siya...  Paalis at pabalik May baong yakap at suklian ng halik Mag-papaalam at mag-sisisi Habang papiglas ka ako sayo ay tatabi Tayong dalawa lamang ang nakaka-alam Ngunit hindi na matanto kung sino nga ba ang pag-bibigyan ko Makikinig nga ba sa isipan na alam ang wasto Ngunit pipigilan ang pag-ibig nya na totoo Iindak na lamang ba sa tibok ng puso mo At aasahan ko hindi nya lamang aapakan ang aking mga paa Pipikit na lamang at mag-sasaya Habang nalulungkot ka Pipikit na lamang at mag-sasaya Habang nalulungkot ka Ako...