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Shopping books = depression mode.

I was on my way home. Tapos, someone saw the book I was reading. Love in the Time of Cholera. Sabi nung officemate ko, super boring ng movie, pero maganda ang essence ng book naman, unrequited love.

Tapos, nasabi ko I shopped for books kahapon.

Sabay sabi niya.. "nako, depressed."

I was shocked. Ganun ba yun? Ngayon na nga lang ako ulit nagshop ng books eh! Ampness.

O well, maybe that's the thing. It's not very often I do things for myself. Because when I am in love, I give everything. So now, that I am all alone, and single. I find time to do things that I like, like reading. tambay sessions, hang-outs, music, and tv, and most of all sleep.

But honestly, I miss having that one person you can call your better half, that significant other, or if lucky, the "one". I miss having that constant thing in my life, the one who wants to be with you, who hugs you, who wipes your tears when you're sad. The one who makes you smile from the simplest to the corniest jokes. The person who makes your day, who helps you get through tough times, and lastly, the person who inspires you to strive better to be a better person, a better being, a better Christian.

I realized, he chose a different path than mine. We had differences we never had the chance to work things out, things we never had the chance to talk about, and a love we never had the chance to share. He chose his own path, and I'm left with no choice than to take the opposite path. I guess I am bitter in a way, but I think it's more of I don't still get to understand why it happened, and I just want to get over this stage and get a life of my own, not thinking about him and how he is.

God has plans. I keep on telling that to myself. I just hope this time, things will be better for me, things will be different. I am letting go. Just like you wanted me to, just like you wished I never hoped for anything. I want to stop torturing myself. It will still be painful, the process, but I know, it will be worth it. I want to say, for the last time, I love you J. I do. And I'll always will. But it's time. You chose her, you chose a different path. It's time I go with mine.

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