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The drama of an addict.

Ok, it's 2:32 AM, and I'm starting again. praying that it won't take me 4 hours to compose this one. The last one lasted for so long, I forgot what I want to tell exactly. Now that I am in my most bangag moment, especially for quite sometime. I have not been doing OT, or OTY for that matter. I was too depressed to do so. So here I am, blogging again.

I have decided to give the scrapbook to him. and the CD as well. But I have to finish the scrapbook. It's such a mess, because i didn't finish it. I was too upset to do so. So there. Besides, I think that there' s nothing left for me to lose, so why not give it to him. Since he wants it. And I clearly don't need to keep it. It would just sulk me into bitterness and despair if I do have it and look at it everytime I miss him. I also plan to give back the things he gave me. Dalawa lang naman yun.

Enough of the drama. But I know I will still rant some more. haha.

A lot has been happening lately. Not just of the drama I have in my previous post, which was yesterday morning only, bit with the country. I have been trying to be updated with the current news, and also, will try to read later about markets. I have a job interview tomorrow and it scares the hell outta me. I applied for the wrong and right reasons, but I am not sure of what path I will take. Like what I said, "interview palang naman to, I have ample time to think about it."

What else? Issues issues issues. Well, I must admit. I am a dramatic bitch. I have all the drama in the world, yet I am still happy. Yet, I can still enjoy life. At times, I feel the loneliness of being single, not able to show person I love how I feel, but it's all good. I would never ever regret every decision I made, because it defines who I am right now. The same way, his decisions define him right now. I do hope in time, I will look back, and see the changes that had happened, and just smile about it and tell myself. "Haha. look, you were stupid back then.. " or something like.. "minahal mo nga talaga. at least you learned something.. " I know I will understand everything. I actually want to understand everything NOW. But, since God does not permit it, I have no choice than to wait.

My bestfriend is leaving for SG this Wednesday. And it sucks. Seriously. I will lose someone close to me again. First was Yang, when she moved to the states a few years ago, now him. BOO! but on the contrary I wish him well. This is the opportunity we were both waiting for him. Sad for his girlfriend, he's leaving so soon. I will miss him. Seriously. I would probably have to go to SG before the year ends to visit him. Even for a few days. I'll make ipon to be with him. I promise. And travel as well.

Quarter end is about to come. So more work for me. Less idle time, less drama.

I pray to God to give me more strength. I'm a fighter. And a lover. I am coming back to my senses, getting my life back on track. As for the person I chose to love. I never regretted anything. Maybe it's God's plan. I believe in God, so much I know He has something better for me, and for you. As for the answers to my questions? In time, I know in time. Time heals everything. I will keep on praying.

But most probably, I will always be a bitch. I know, So they say.

Good night. Off to bed.


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