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Showing posts from June, 2009

Have faith.

I'm not sure what I would exactly write. My thoughts, pouring during the mass, now is empty. Sunday for me is rest day/family day. So the normal Sunday I have is stay at the resto, mass and dinner. But today was different, since I had the chance to go to the parlor, and go to S&R and found my super super favorite chocolates: 3 MUSKETEERS!!! I so love 'em. :) This is my new hair, by the way. I don't know why I allowed everyone to cut my hair, but I did. Now, this is the new look. I hope it's a different me. Now this is what I'm talking about. I loooovvvveeee MUSKETEERS. Big time :D I only find this at S&R Munoz. Wuhoo! Anyway, moving on. Normally, I end my day with the mass. And today was no difference. I went to the 5PM mass at UST church *oh how I miss the church at Greenbelt, sniff sniff* Like what we normally do the past few Sundays, but this day was different. I cried the whole time the Gospel was read, until the end of homily. Last night, I

A quick note to myself.

I never thought that he was the person I would not want in my life, until now. I'm such a loser, for me to see it just now, how pathetic I am for hooking up with someone who can't even respect a woman/girl. I now know better. Nuff said.

I HATE EXES.

Nuff said. I just hope that what I'm feeling right now, is caused by my hormones. If not, seriously. Screw you. Ex # 1. You were the one who called me earlier today. And now, you tell me I am demanding. Screw you. Ex # 2 You chose someone else. We can't be friends. I'm still in the process of healing. It's over. Screw you. Ex # 3 Kahit papaano, we're ok, but I am still pissed by the fact that you think I'm nakikialam. Hey, I'm a friend to everyone, including enemies and exes. Screw you. I hate times like these. I hope things will be better. I don't want any issues or problems with anyone. That's the least of my concerns. For you Ex 1 and 3. Please. Be nice to everyone. And for Ex 3. just screw you. You broke my heart.

It's all coming back to me now, and back to you.

From my multiply. Warning: What you're gonna read here would most probably be not suitable for plain viewing. Understanding is utterly needed. :) Because of yesterday's events. Madami ako masusulat dito, lalo na ang mga kasuluk-sulukang secrets ko siguro. Haha. Yesterday, maybe one of the most unforgettable days of my life. Yesterday, I had to go on biglaang half-day just to make sure I can come with Shelly. I met Shelly when I was in high school, siya ang una, at tanging girl na niligawan ko. I courted her way back in HS, fourth year if I am not mistaken. We were with Franz and KC yesterday. KC is one of Shelly's closest friends, and her bestfriend I must say, and Franz, 3 batches lower, is also one of Shelly's closest. They apparently have a lot of things in common. :) We decided to go back to our beloved STC. Beloved really, I have never come back to STC since like, 5 years ago. The last time I went there was 1st day of my First year in college. Tapos, yun na. So y

To Gian, my ultimate HH head :)

Dearest Gian, Sayo ko nalang iaaddress tong short blog ko. I felt the same way when I woke up this morning. About your plurk. I'm sure you remember. Like what I said, God has plans. It was the 17th of the month. I am not sure that you remember, but 17 was "our" number. And yesterday, of course was 17. Its been a month and a few days since everything changed. When I got to work, I was so lazy, because I felt sad and blue. But at the end of the day, I realized, I didn't dwell so much on telling people na it's 17, na it's supposed to be our day. Pero, it never happened because of all the circumstances. Now, thinking about it, nalulungkot ako uli. But I know, in God's time, I will wake up, not thinking about him anymore. We may have different reasons why things didn't work out so well. Like what I posted in my facebook, after all these years I realized it's just not worth it. I got my answer. I thought he was the one, but he was just one of them. After

What a way to spend the the week, and the long weekend :)

God blessed me so much. As in! Wednesday, June 10 -- Craved for Mr. Kabab. Anjo was there to accompany me with my craving, then Sbux after. Stories galore, full tummies :) Gian's birthday. Excited for her party! Thursday, June 11 -- Accompanied Anjo to watch metro station. Shake shake! Then, dinner at Jack's loft. Full again. Saw my nephew, super big and cute siya! :) After, club LAX for PCD's afterparty. Eye-flirting is the game. Had so much fun with Anjo sa Trinoma, Ate Onick, CY and her BF at club LAX. Even though umaga na ako almost nakauwi. 3:30AM. haha. Saturday, June 13 -- Something happened. Not worth making kwento so much, but this incident, as bad or weird or whatever it may seem, was forgotten because of the much awaited Gian's birthday celeb/celeb for passing the boards. It became a sorta YFC-UST reunion. Super fun filled day talaga! As in, bangagan, swimming, stories, may nalasing, nagpanggap na hindi, hindi uminom, hindi makainom, kumain, umiyak, tumawa, l

Waiting for you is so worth it ♥

I'm just at peace right now. Not feeling the sadness, the miseries and everything else in between. For the first time in a long while, I felt free. I felt comfortable from where I am, and not expecting anything. I don't mind being alone and single, because I know God's plans are better than mine. Who knows? I end up being a nun. Wuhoo. I am so thrilled over God's plans.. And waiting for you, is so worth it :) Makes my heart hump every time. Patience :) on the other hand, I am bumming out in the wee hours of the morning. Very very sad. One of exes is leaving to work somewhere. Even though we broke up 2 years ago, we became friends almost a year after the break up. I feel I'm losing one of my bestfriends.. and th e only guy who can keep up with every little details, itch and hang-ups I have in my life. I'm sure at one point, you'll be able to read this. I am bumming out because you're leaving. Seriously. You're the closest to a brother/dad/bestfriend/

Drag Me To Hell, just dragged me to salvation :)

After this day, I realized one big thing. Be careful with your decisions. Then, it just hit me. I went out today, to conquer one of my fears -- horror movies. I am successful to do it, I screamed, shouted, and lastly, laughed. It was hilarious. Everything is a choice. And right now, I just realized, I am ready. I am so ready :) Church with my family and her, movie with her. It just felt so good to feel alive again :) I really wanted to go out last night. Pero, I didn't happened. Hence I craved for ice cream. So I went out, even though my bestfriend told me not to. And it felt good, to do something you want, without people having to force you not to, or to force you to do it. To do it with though and choice. Now, I decided to conquer the fear of horror movies in a movie house. Also, I shoted and screamed all my heart out. It just felt so good, to release everything, and to simply let go of your fears and just scream and shout all the pain, hurt, anger and everything else in between.

The drama of an addict.

Ok, it's 2:32 AM, and I'm starting again. praying that it won't take me 4 hours to compose this one. The last one lasted for so long, I forgot what I want to tell exactly. Now that I am in my most bangag moment, especially for quite sometime. I have not been doing OT, or OTY for that matter. I was too depressed to do so. So here I am, blogging again. I have decided to give the scrapbook to him. and the CD as well. But I have to finish the scrapbook. It's such a mess, because i didn't finish it. I was too upset to do so. So there. Besides, I think that there' s nothing left for me to lose, so why not give it to him. Since he wants it. And I clearly don't need to keep it. It would just sulk me into bitterness and despair if I do have it and look at it everytime I miss him. I also plan to give back the things he gave me. Dalawa lang naman yun. Enough of the drama. But I know I will still rant some more. haha. A lot has been happening lately. Not just of the dra

4 hours in the making, but still. Blank.

I was supposed to blog last night, but was too sleepy and quite lazy to do so. So now, I was supposed to sleep until like 10 or 11, but I woke up 7:30AM and can't sleep. Okay. 7th week of CLP. 8th I must say, including the orientation. Everyday has been a work in progress, a struggle and a fight for life and happiness. Pain is inevitable in life I know, ang change as well, but pain can be prevented. Or I just tell that to myself every time. Change has been so eminent in my life lately, alongside pain. People won't notice who I am after every single day, but I know how I act and feel towards things lately. It started when decided to go out with one of my exes. And the list of changes goes on and on. I decided to attend CLP, someone from work moved to a different content, financial issues with regards to the restaurant and personal finances as well, the people from resto leaving with money and things, moving from Novaliches to Manila, family issues, the ex I dated is with someone

First.

I would like to use this blog for my innermost feelings. And currently, I want change. That is why I am doing this. Instead of me, making another website, I would just use one of my old ones. Funfunfun. Change is inevitable, and the only constant thing in this world.

Shopping books = depression mode.

I was on my way home. Tapos, someone saw the book I was reading. Love in the Time of Cholera. Sabi nung officemate ko, super boring ng movie, pero maganda ang essence ng book naman, unrequited love. Tapos, nasabi ko I shopped for books kahapon. Sabay sabi niya.. "nako, depressed." I was shocked. Ganun ba yun? Ngayon na nga lang ako ulit nagshop ng books eh! Ampness. O well, maybe that's the thing. It's not very often I do things for myself. Because when I am in love, I give everything. So now, that I am all alone, and single. I find time to do things that I like, like reading. tambay sessions, hang-outs, music, and tv, and most of all sleep. But honestly, I miss having that one person you can call your better half, that significant other, or if lucky, the "one". I miss having that constant thing in my life, the one who wants to be with you, who hugs you, who wipes your tears when you're sad. The one who makes you smile from the simplest to the corniest