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A love-hate relationship with you.

Dear Habit,

hate the fact that you always force me to break you. Too many times this year. I just wish we can have this sense of connection and consistency with each other, that I don't have to just drop you whenever you feel and whenever you want me to. I don't want to be led on anymore though. I just wish you and I can have signs when we have to distance away from each other, or when we have to break away.

I wonder now what came about the sudden break again. I wonder how come when I was prepared to embrace you and accept you in my life, you suddenly left, and suddenly lost touch with me.

The last time I had to break up with you, I knew it was solid. I didn't want to feel used and wasted and abused again. The time before that, I had to because that habit was so hard to break already and it was breaking me even if I was with you already. That time, I was so into you that I still can't be away from you til now.

But this time, I am trying to do it gently, and trying to make things work and just trying to live my life, slowly, but surely.

I wish, this time, not much tears will shed, and I just hope that I wasn't in it too deep. Next time, please be careful with me. Let's not get too close, let's not mess with each other's lives, let's live life comfortably and keep some distance. Can we use my ground rules as to not mess with each other? As to not cross boundaries? Can we have ground rules we both agree on?

Much love hate relationship with you at the moment. I just want to live in harmony with you.


Cheers,
Marge
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