Skip to main content

A love-hate relationship with you.

Dear Habit,

hate the fact that you always force me to break you. Too many times this year. I just wish we can have this sense of connection and consistency with each other, that I don't have to just drop you whenever you feel and whenever you want me to. I don't want to be led on anymore though. I just wish you and I can have signs when we have to distance away from each other, or when we have to break away.

I wonder now what came about the sudden break again. I wonder how come when I was prepared to embrace you and accept you in my life, you suddenly left, and suddenly lost touch with me.

The last time I had to break up with you, I knew it was solid. I didn't want to feel used and wasted and abused again. The time before that, I had to because that habit was so hard to break already and it was breaking me even if I was with you already. That time, I was so into you that I still can't be away from you til now.

But this time, I am trying to do it gently, and trying to make things work and just trying to live my life, slowly, but surely.

I wish, this time, not much tears will shed, and I just hope that I wasn't in it too deep. Next time, please be careful with me. Let's not get too close, let's not mess with each other's lives, let's live life comfortably and keep some distance. Can we use my ground rules as to not mess with each other? As to not cross boundaries? Can we have ground rules we both agree on?

Much love hate relationship with you at the moment. I just want to live in harmony with you.


Cheers,
Marge
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Indak - Up Dharma Down

Tatakbo at gagalaw Mag-iisip kung dapat bang bumitaw Kulang na lang, atakihin Ang pag-hinga'y nabibitin Ang dahilang alam mo na Kahit ano pang sabihin nila Tayong dalawa lamang ang makakaalam Ngunit ako ngayo'y naguguluhan Makikinig ba ako Sa aking isip na dati pa namang magulo? O iindak na lamang Sa tibok ng puso mo At aasahan ko na lamang na Hindi mo aapakan ang aking mga paa Pipikit na lamang at mag-sasayaw Habang nanonood siya...  Paalis at pabalik May baong yakap at suklian ng halik Mag-papaalam at mag-sisisi Habang papiglas ka ako sayo ay tatabi Tayong dalawa lamang ang nakaka-alam Ngunit hindi na matanto kung sino nga ba ang pag-bibigyan ko Makikinig nga ba sa isipan na alam ang wasto Ngunit pipigilan ang pag-ibig nya na totoo Iindak na lamang ba sa tibok ng puso mo At aasahan ko hindi nya lamang aapakan ang aking mga paa Pipikit na lamang at mag-sasaya Habang nalulungkot ka Pipikit na lamang at mag-sasaya Habang nalulungkot ka Ako&#
Post a Comment
Read more

Epekto ng pagkajologs at walang tulog.

I have to admit, when I saw the trailers in ABS, I knew it would be such a craze, a big hit, and a good one. It started late nights, then when I was about to watch, was moved before 6PM. Cruel, right? Very much indeed. I tried my best to get hold of a DVD copy of the Korean version with subtitles in English, ALAS, I did. Thanks to my ever loving bestfriend. We did find a very good copy. I was so eager to watch, because I have missed a lot. And, after watching for 1 and a half days. Literally, from 11:30PM of Saturday, July 11, to July 13, 2009 at 5:30AM, with only 4 hour sleep. The break I had was peeing and bath. Rather than that, nothing. I ditched all my plans for Sunday. I just wanted to cut myself some slack and just do nothing. I wanted to separate myself, even for at least just this weekend. For me to rethink, reorganize, and reflect on everything. Apologies to my dearest God, because I didn't attend mass and missed the practice for Lord's day. I can't help it, the B
4 comments
Read more

Looking back 2009.

http://marge0256.multiply.com/journal/item/119/2008. I read my blog (the link above) when I got back this morning from a hella crazy night. Reading my past blog, I know I had to blog once again. It's been a while since I blogged anything. Haha. This year, was g enerally so so. Had my highs and lows as well. And I want to share it in detail. Seriously, in detail. I ended 2008 breaking u p with Kat. For thos of you who don't know, I had an almost 1 year official relationship with a girl AGAIN. And of course, after the break-up, we were still in contact so technically, we werent completely over each other. I started 2009 with high hopes o f us getting back together, and us fixing things. But instead, we separated ways after a few months. We celebrated our anniversary yes, but after that, I guess it was not meant to be. As of now, we still talk sometimes, but nonetheless, a lot has changed, for her and for me. She's moving to a different department, a department I highly recom
3 comments
Read more