Okay, so everyone knows that I DO NOT CELEBRATE Valentine's. Not that I hate it or whatsoever, but I just feel like I don't need Valentine's to show how much I care for the person. I can do that any way (not that I am expressive or whatsoever, just sayin'). Anyway, this year, I decided to do something different and celebrate Valentine's day, in a different way.
Someone asked me out for Valentine's, I said no flatly. I was starting to get convinced, but still, I couldn't bend my rules for the person so yeah, ended up a no. Then there's this sorta conniving plan my friend made and I am an accomplice, so that's that. But the real deal? I spent that day with people that maybe I needed to spend time with.
A week before that day, I already told my half brother I did not have a date, not I wished to have one, and told him I wanted him to take me out instead. Yes, pinilit ko talaga siya ng solid. And I like that he didn't refuse and tried to make time for Saturday. I know that it hasn't been easy for both him and me to be in this situation, knowing our personalities, and knowing how we met, but I am glad he has been really trying with me. To be honest, when I think about Saturday, it just felt too perfect. So, going back, for a week, we have been going back and forth about going out on Vday, and plans were just hazy. But come Thursday, I knew that we were pushing through, without plans. And then Saturday came.
It was a typical Saturday, I decided to do my every now and then routine: Manos. I decided to pamper myself a bit earlier that day, and well, hygiene too, of course. Then met up with him at past 4. I was pretty late, sorry. After, we decided to walk around and then eat at Buffalo Wings n Things. It was just pure fun talking to him and just hanging out. He likes to ask questions, he likes figuring things out, like me. But I'm not that inquisitive, and I'm more of a waiting girl and waiting for people to be comfortable to me, just like I want people not to push it too hard with me and just do with right timing. All we did that night, or that time was actually talk about life and everything else in between. Relationships, a bit of family, work, friends, and yeah. That. Lol. Anyway, I've noticed how he has been very very curious about my personality, and how he does enjoy hanging out with me. To be honest, even though we've spent this much time and I hang out with him, and we message, and I tease him and all that, I know that we aren't in that level yet, but I know we have also escalated things quite fast. It isn't allowed, I shouldn't allow it, because right now, things are just too much and really heavy, that I really have to think about things and really think things through and work thing my own way and pace, but I feel like I should at least try things with him. He is, after all, my half brother. I didn't expect I will be pampered by someone that day, but hey, he did. And he isn't any other person, he is still, after all, family. I am pretty thankful for that moment, because, I allowed myself to be taken care of. Like what my bestfriend Marian said, I deserve all the goodness and the love this world can offer me right now. Even Kara told me that too.
Day ended with a two hour videoke with Clarice and her friend, Pauline. Cla and I initially planned a Vday date, but she ended up cancelling on me. But hey, we still ended up going out together. Maybe God just wanted me to do something on that day, apart from my initial plan, to see my choices, my options, and maybe to give myself a break from everything. I really enjoyed my sibling time, because I guess, it's something new, plus it feels like getting to know someone all over again and trying to see where things can lead me, which was exactly what I was doing with him. I just knew him more than a month ago, apparently my mom knows them, so yeah.
Saturday was a good reminded of good days, of better days that may come. Life nowadays suck, with the stress and whatnot. But now, I feel giddy about that day because I showed myself some love. And with the things that are happening, I feel like I showed myself something I should have long time ago. I allowed myself to be loved and taken care of, be pampered and loved. I look at myself everyday, and try to make myself feel better. I look in the mirror and I barely see myself, that tiniest dot I see of myself.. but I tried last Saturday to give myself a bit of love and worth through the people I sort of hoped to make myself feel loved. I am blogging it just to give me a reminder that there can be good days, even though bad days are mostly dominating my days.
Someone asked me out for Valentine's, I said no flatly. I was starting to get convinced, but still, I couldn't bend my rules for the person so yeah, ended up a no. Then there's this sorta conniving plan my friend made and I am an accomplice, so that's that. But the real deal? I spent that day with people that maybe I needed to spend time with.
A week before that day, I already told my half brother I did not have a date, not I wished to have one, and told him I wanted him to take me out instead. Yes, pinilit ko talaga siya ng solid. And I like that he didn't refuse and tried to make time for Saturday. I know that it hasn't been easy for both him and me to be in this situation, knowing our personalities, and knowing how we met, but I am glad he has been really trying with me. To be honest, when I think about Saturday, it just felt too perfect. So, going back, for a week, we have been going back and forth about going out on Vday, and plans were just hazy. But come Thursday, I knew that we were pushing through, without plans. And then Saturday came.
It was a typical Saturday, I decided to do my every now and then routine: Manos. I decided to pamper myself a bit earlier that day, and well, hygiene too, of course. Then met up with him at past 4. I was pretty late, sorry. After, we decided to walk around and then eat at Buffalo Wings n Things. It was just pure fun talking to him and just hanging out. He likes to ask questions, he likes figuring things out, like me. But I'm not that inquisitive, and I'm more of a waiting girl and waiting for people to be comfortable to me, just like I want people not to push it too hard with me and just do with right timing. All we did that night, or that time was actually talk about life and everything else in between. Relationships, a bit of family, work, friends, and yeah. That. Lol. Anyway, I've noticed how he has been very very curious about my personality, and how he does enjoy hanging out with me. To be honest, even though we've spent this much time and I hang out with him, and we message, and I tease him and all that, I know that we aren't in that level yet, but I know we have also escalated things quite fast. It isn't allowed, I shouldn't allow it, because right now, things are just too much and really heavy, that I really have to think about things and really think things through and work thing my own way and pace, but I feel like I should at least try things with him. He is, after all, my half brother. I didn't expect I will be pampered by someone that day, but hey, he did. And he isn't any other person, he is still, after all, family. I am pretty thankful for that moment, because, I allowed myself to be taken care of. Like what my bestfriend Marian said, I deserve all the goodness and the love this world can offer me right now. Even Kara told me that too.
Day ended with a two hour videoke with Clarice and her friend, Pauline. Cla and I initially planned a Vday date, but she ended up cancelling on me. But hey, we still ended up going out together. Maybe God just wanted me to do something on that day, apart from my initial plan, to see my choices, my options, and maybe to give myself a break from everything. I really enjoyed my sibling time, because I guess, it's something new, plus it feels like getting to know someone all over again and trying to see where things can lead me, which was exactly what I was doing with him. I just knew him more than a month ago, apparently my mom knows them, so yeah.
Saturday was a good reminded of good days, of better days that may come. Life nowadays suck, with the stress and whatnot. But now, I feel giddy about that day because I showed myself some love. And with the things that are happening, I feel like I showed myself something I should have long time ago. I allowed myself to be loved and taken care of, be pampered and loved. I look at myself everyday, and try to make myself feel better. I look in the mirror and I barely see myself, that tiniest dot I see of myself.. but I tried last Saturday to give myself a bit of love and worth through the people I sort of hoped to make myself feel loved. I am blogging it just to give me a reminder that there can be good days, even though bad days are mostly dominating my days.
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