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Rant post turned random.

I realized that I should have done this at home. But since I have time, and I tend to be lazy when I am at home, I decided to just do this on my desk when no one can really snoop or read what I am typing. 

Saturday was one of the hardest days. Because the inevitable parting ways happened. I don't know why. But I always feel it was my fault. I have this tendency of blaming everything to myself. I even have this tendency of just taking everything in. I know, I know. It's starting to be a bad habit already. I should probably learn how to forgive. But to be honest, that's one thing I have such a hard time doing. Because so many people have wronged me, and so many people have failed and hurt me time and time again, that I don't really know how to forgive and trust again. I hate the person that I have become. But at some point, I feel that this is my defense mechanism from everything in my life. 

My mom and grandparents were supposed to go to the province tomorrow, but my grandma hasn't been feeling at her best for more than a month so grandpa decided against it. I have been feeling very low for so many reasons and family is also a big reason for it. 

I have also been having arguments with my mom, about plans on so many things. My head hurts just trying to think about it. 

 I was trying to finish this yesterday but was too pre occupied on preparing for today's meeting. 

 Oh yeah. My first official meeting. It was okay. I was surprised I did pull it off. 
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