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Messy.

Still not sure what to blog about. But I really want to blog regularly, and not like before, that I only get to blog once in 3 months or so. I'll probably share what has been happening to me or something; this might get boring by the minute, so beware. And don't blame me if in the end you might think this is a waste of time. I gave you a warning.

Good thing there was a holiday. I found time to watch movies. I watched one movie last Thursday, and one last Friday. Watched Babe I Love You with a friend in Trinoma, and watched Date Night with my best friend and her cousin in SM North. It was cool actually; haven’t had much time in resting, and enjoying others' company. Although I frequently see my best friend, it has been quite some time since we actually watched a movie together.


While I was writing my blog, my mood got a little bit off, IDK why. I really have a lot of things in mind plus the fact that I am not feeling well. This is probably the effect of the heat. I am in touch once again with all my drama and that all I want right now is somewhere to vent it out. I actually was feeling better already, talking to a new found friend earlier today. It was nice to know that I could find friends online, but actually, I am scared at the same time as well. I know I risked trusting again. But my relationship and trust issues are at its finest. I remember earlier, had a little misunderstanding with one person. It was really a wrong move. I was blantly accusing him of probably raking advantage. I felt bad after, because after saying things, I realized he’ll never do that to the person, more so, he knows his limits. Especially with my friends. So I felt bad for him.

A lot of things have changed through the years. I know, I know. I rant about this a lot. But the gravity seems to be more evident as days, and weeks pass by. I didn’t even notice the changes until people started telling me what they’ve noticed. Some of them think I changed for the worse. Maybe I did. But I won’t know it until I get to see it with my own eyes, and I get the grasp of it. Anyway, a lot of things have been bothering me. Not just this changes thing but a lot has been happening. I am getting a break and will be going somewhere over the past few weeks. Just to unwind, and enjoy what I can enjoy. Anyway, update on my last blog. Maybe, didn’t lose the person, but I know things now are not the same as before. I guess this person is still special to me, since this person could still make me smile when that person texts. Oh well. But I know that person and I will remain what we are right now. And at least I am not bothered anymore. But for what it’s worth, for the record. That person is special to me.

As to my plans, yes. I am going to do something crazy. But I’m sure it’ll be fun. I have a lot in mind that I want to share, but words could not explain the feeling and the thoughts I have. Oh well. I’m such a mess right now.

To the person I talked to over YM. Thank you. You might not be able to read this, but at least I had my thank you speech here. I seldom believe, after my incident. Which I haven’t shared with you yet, that it’s hard to find real friends in fandom. But I found you, in one of the most unexpected places. Tumblr. Thank you for being so nice to me, listening, and not being judgmental. I am really thankful I chose you to share my story with. It became a mala-fanfic emo shit drama. HAHA! But nonetheless, you don’t know how much it made me feel better. And how much I appreciate, and how much I am grateful to you. I hope we could be friends, more than being spazzmates. I hope it was a start of something better, and greater. Really. 

I guess this would be it as for now. This is really messy, apologies.

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