Every year, I usually make a post of what happened in my year, and who were the people I want to thank and say sorry. This year, I should probably add a few more to my habitual post. We'll see then.
"It's not something I'm ashamed of, but it's not something that can be shared easily."
This line started my year, and this line made me decide to learn something this year: Appreciate myself and have a journey of life alone.
2010 was a good year for me, I must say. A lot would definitely agree with me, but mostly for the wrong reasons. More than having what I have today, it is more of I have known a few things about existence. As I recall what the past year has given me, tears wells up on my eyes (as I type this), because for some reason, this year has been the most intimate year I have had. Intimate meaning, the only peole I had in my life were the people who proved to be the people who can stick up with me. I have proven to myself that life alone doesn't suck, but at the end of the day, there would still be people who can be with you til the end of whatsoever.
I decided to make a trip somewhere with my bestfriend, a first actually, I decided to take 5 days off my 2010 to be with my bestfriend in a foreign country, and that trip changed a lot about my life. Somehow, I have appreciated things around me, from the littlest ones to great ones. That trip ended a lot of things, but started a few as well. I became that person of less talk, or I think I am, but more of that person who once in a while rants, tells stories, but nonetheless, most of the time, thoughts, feelings and whatsoever are kept to myself.
I decided this year to give love a shot again after technically more than a year of plain me. Surprisingly, it was probably fate how I came this far to what I have right now when it comes to relationships. I was supposed to be with someone, but ended up being with another. I knew I made the right choice. Up until now, I am still taking each day a step, and luckily, somehow I am surviving. I never regretted anything when it comes to this apect, so I guess I can say it's all good. Yeah, sure it's tough. But nonetheless, each day I hope gets better, and prays that 2011 would be better for us. As for the someone that "got away" probably. I still wish the person well everyday. The person might not know this, but that person's still dear to me, maybe the person will be for a long time. But like I said, I made my choice. And so far I haven't regretted it yet. (hihi. peace to you, crazy person :p)
Family and friends have made me what I am this year. I have spent so much time at home this year, it felt so odd to go out once in a while. Going out meant, dates alone, dates with my bestfriend, shopping with her at times or family dates. That's it. I barely drank or whatsoever this year. Unexpectedly. Very.
My Kpop fandom mellowed down a lot, but I still spazz once in a while, and I try to get myself updated with everything. I still watch a few things or a lot I guess, but don't just say anything. Been into Kdramas a lot too, thanks to my beloved cable operator. So yeah. There. Met a lot of good people too. I barely talk to all of them, but I hope they know that once I've gotten to know a friend, he/she will be a friend forever. Yes. They'll always have me as a friend/sister/unni/whatever they wanna call it.
One of the highlights of this year as well was having a visitor for a month. Yes. It was my first time being a tour guide and being able to be accountable for someone the whole time (yes I know). I may be accountable at work a lot of times, but for a person? I must say, a pretty good job. That visitor was the best thing this year. I never thought someone can fly over 7,000 miles just to be with me. So yeah. I am hella proud. :)
The year ended with me b eing alone, literally. Immediate family went somewhere without me for the first time. I had to spend Christmas at others' place, family still, but it somehow felt different to celebrate it not with my mom and sister. Kinda sad, but I pulled it off. Yesterday, I decided to stay at home alone. YES. I was that brave. But it went by quickly because I was too tired to think and worry about things. And yes. I must stay sleeping the New Year's celebration away was good, because then I realized that I know how to take care of myself, and I know my limits. I needed that time yesterday, to be home alone. So that I can clear my head and I can just rest and enjoy "me" time. What a way to end and start the year. Just right. Weeks of overtime, and then a day of lying down, watching tv, skype, and the like, yes. That's how I wanted my year to end. It was perfect.
Apologies to everyone or anyone whom I have hurt, I am sure there are some, but know that in my heart, I never meant to hurt you or anyone. Things just happen, and that's part of it. There was a reason. And I believe that everything bad can lead to something good, if you just put a positive thought to things. (that's what I learned from someone)
I'd like to thank everyone who made my life this year, my family of course, my bestfriend kara, for being there for me always, because although we had ups and downs, at the end of the day, I know we'll still be there for each other, to my fandom family, Triple S, BoicePH, Quainte family, for making me feel that there will always be friendship with fandom and beyond that, to my YFC-UST Family, that despite lack of communication (which was really my fault), I know that I have you guys to remind me of how life can be without a God, and for reminding me about what path to take and choices to pick, and to that someone. Thank you for believing in me when times comes that I don't. Thank you for everyone and everything that was part of my year. More than being sad or not contented, I feel thankful for the year that passed, because it made me who I am. Good or bad, it was a journey that made everything worth it.
2011 is the year of the rabbit, my year. I am claiming it. I am sure God has planned a lot for each and everyone of us. We'll just have to go through a lot of things everyday. But at the end of the day, whatever happened is a blessing. I am excited for what 2011 can offer. I am excited for a lot of things, but more so, I am excited because I have friends, family, someone, and last but not a least, a great God to be with me for another year. Another path, another way, another journey.
"Now I know why everything that I've tried fell to the floor, because you were in store. There is always a reason."
Everything happens for a reason. May it be good or bad, I am pretty sure that there is something planned. We just have to be patient and believe in the goodness.
May 2011 be happy, merry and blessed. Happy new year. Cheers to life and love! :)
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