So they say.

I don't know why. Is it the paranoia? Is it the stress? I would like to know, I would like to understand. I have been jumpy the past few weeks. I act weirdly. I have a lot of odd thoughts. I am scared about so many things. I panic a lot. I get mad a lot. I get lost in my thoughts a lot. I feel I am getting better at handling my situation, but my emotions have been getting out of hand more than ever. It feels like I am going back where I started, and probably, much worse. 2 nights ago, I was literally shouting at my voicemail to Val, and was telling her that she has to get up because she'll be late for her flight back to Cali. Then, she got so pissed at me, because I got the times mixed up, and that I wasn't supposed to be panicking because it was an hour delayed in Alaska, which most of the time I remember. I couldn't admit how stupid I was, and then I became very upset with myself and her, because I felt she wasn't very understanding of my situation. My bipolar